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Difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

What’s the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road? There are skid marks in front of the dog.

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? His lips are moving.

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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start!

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If you are stranded on a desert island…

If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do? Shoot the lawyer twice.

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Why have some cities outlawed lawyers from going to the beach?

Why have some cities outlawed lawyers from going to the beach? Because the cats keep trying to bury them in the sand.

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What's wrong with lawyer jokes?

What’s wrong with lawyer jokes? Lawyers don’t think they’re funny, and nobody else thinks they’re jokes.

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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, lawyers only screw us.

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How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? Fifty four. Eight to argue, one to get a continuance, one to object, one to demur, two to research precedents, one to dictate a letter, one to...

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How can you spot a lawyer or politician walking down the street?

How can you spot a lawyer or politician walking down the street? He will have his hands in someone else’s pockets.

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How do you tell if it is REALLY cold outside?

How do you tell if it is REALLY cold outside? A lawyer has his hands in his own pockets

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